Never settle for mediocrity

So, I just applied for the UOW Psychology honours program even though there's a high chance I won't be able to go due to some personal issues. Obviously, I've been thinking a lot about my future. Especially since I'm almost done with my bachelor's degree. Ideally, I wanna become a registered psychologist. I'm really passionate about clinical psychology or educational psychology specifically (or even counseling). Being here in UOW, it just makes you feel really hopeful about your future like you can be anything you wanna be. While in Singapore, I often feel like 'oh I'm not good enough' or whatever. Which says a lot about the education system and the society in Singapore lol. Or maybe mostly it's all in my head too and I just gotta stop thinking that way and have more faith in myself.

But anyway, I'll be getting the application results during the first two weeks of December, which is actually pretty soon. I really want to go tbh. It's just I don't think my family could afford it and now that my parents are older, I just don't feel comfortable leaving them for a full year (I know, a year is technically not THAT long, but still). Emily has been convincing me to go and she kept telling me it's for my future HAHA which is true!! And honestly, I am convinced. I really wanna go. But alas, it's not up to me. I'll talk to my parents more about it soon.

My backup plan? Well, no matter what I want to get my Ph.D. or Masters. So, I'm really considering taking part-time honours in Singapore while working at the same time. Maybe as a research assistant. So at least I can gain experience in research and academia to ultimately prepare me for my postgraduate education. That sounds like a solid plan too.

My biggest fear is that I will lose sight of my final goal. I mean, maybe along the way I may change my interest, and that's fine as long as I work towards it. But what if I get so sick of studying or working or whatever and would just settle for any job. I don't want to settle. I don't want to live a mediocre life. Don't get me wrong. I'm not looking down on other jobs or fields. What I mean with living a mediocre life is a life where I know I could have done more, but didn't and not living to my best potential. Ultimately, if I feel like I've lived my best life, to the fullest and have tried my hardest, I think that's the best anyone can wish for. So, note to self: JUST. DON'T. SETTLE.

Emily told me something that really stuck to me. It doesn't matter how long we study. Our Honours or Masters/PhD may take what, another 4-6 years? So, I would officially start my career at 27/28 years old probably.  And yeah, it does seem like such a long time and all you want to do is work and start your life. But 4-6 extra years is NOTHING as compared to your working life or career which you'll spend your entire lifetime on. So you're investing this 4-6 years in your future. And if you think in this grand scheme of things, then yeah, 4-6 years is nothing as compared to 40+ years of your working life. You don't want your 40+ years of your adulthood working in the job you absolutely hate.

But, it's easier said than done. I'm sure over time, my priorities will change. I'm sure I sound way too naive and hopeful right now hahaha but here's to a better future!! I know it's not gonna be easy and I know things don't always go as planned. But I just really hope I work towards it and no matter how hard it is or how long it takes and hopefully I won't let anyone or anything get in the way of my dreams (like a man lol).

This is such a long post of me just rambling on and on about my future hahaha but I'm just writing this to my future self. Hopefully, reading this in the future will give me some kind of push and motivation when things get tough. So another note to self: Please don't give up. I know things are tiring and tough right now but you're almost there!!! Every step you take is one step closer to your dreams. As Shia Lebeouf once aggressively said:

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